Define What Matters to You

Write The User Story of Your Life

Are you familiar with user stories? They are commonly used in agile system development to capture customer needs. They typically have the form:

As a <role>

I want <desired action or functionality>

in order to <desired outcome>.

The beauty of this format is that it gives a very clear picture of both what you want to do and why. Finding the “why” is often a necessity in order to make any changes on a personal level.

Try writing a user story for your life. Does it feel like a strange suggestion? Capturing what is important to you and why is a great way to paint a mental picture of what it is you want to do and accomplish in your life. Once you’ve done that, it becomes easier to see how you can get there and also take that first step.

Begin like this:
  1. Think about all the different roles you have in your life. Pick one. “As a manager….”, “As a parent…”, “As a friend….”
  2. Continue by writing down what you want. “I want to have time for….”, “I want to develop a relationship that is…”, “I want to start….”.
  3. Finish your user story by writing why you want to do this. “So as to have more energy…”, “so as to be appreciated….”, “in order to be able to…..”
  4. Maybe you have several different user stories. Write them all down until you feel you’ve covered most of you different roles and hopes.
  5. Reflect on your different stories. Do some feel more pressing or important than others ? Are some perhaps prerequisites that need to be in place first, before you can fulfill the rest? How would it affect you if some of them never came to pass?

Now that you have a clearer picture of what you want is really important to you, you can always ask yourself if what you are doing right now is taking you closer to fulfilling your most important user story. Use your user stories like a compass that can help you realise what actions and behaviours you want to start doing and stop doing.

Good luck!

Want some inspiration? Read how my own user story turned out.


Working with a personal coach is an excellent way to visualise your goals and also find solutions and steps you can take to achieve what you want. I will be taking clients for individual coaching from April 2021. Curious? Get in touch and let’s explore how I can help you get where you want to go!